Welp, this is certainly one of those times when I can honestly say I haven’t been writing here because I’ve been busy as shit living life elsewhere, and it’s a GOOD THING. There have been blog entries rolling around in my brain for months, but they just keep getting knocked around by all the other stuff I have to think about instead. I haven’t even had time to write the weekly gratitude posts, but that’s something I plan to get back to. I think it’s important. Even though life is, for all intents and purposes, really damn good right now, I don’t want to lose sight of that during the inevitable times of struggle.
So… let’s see. I started a new job back in November. The difference is like night and day from my last job. I had genuine affection for some of my former co-workers, but the environment was just… not a good fit. I could say a whole lot more about it, but this being a public forum and all, I’ll leave it at that. What I will say instead is that my new job has me twice as busy as I was before, and I honestly feel like I’m helping and making a difference. I work with people who practice active gratitude, every day, and we’re all busy, sometimes overwhelmingly so, but it’s all to work towards something greater than ourselves. Our leaders have big visions, and we are the ones who make it happen, all with the goal of helping as many women as possible.
One interesting thing for me is that it’s a faith-based organization. Anyone who knows me knows what a choice that was for me to make. And I was nervous about it at first, but you know what? Our missions are the same. Our goals are the same. Our driving forces are, ultimately, the same. The only difference (to me) is the language we use to talk about it. There was definitely a time in my life where I don’t think it would have worked for me to be there, but now, it absolutely feels like a great place to be. I am as welcome there as anyone, and we’re all just grateful for each other. It’s pretty cool.
And all of that works out well, having that emotional support, because my boss just went out on maternity leave so I’m now doing three jobs instead of two. I came home every day last week feeling like I’d been beat up (from the feet up), so I’d do a face plant on the couch and then wake back up to dig into homework. Which, by the way, is going well, and I am loving my classes this semester, because it is CHALLENGING. I’ve never been one to think about social welfare policy – or any policy, really – so even though I’m out of my element, I feel like I’m learning to inhabit new elements. The other class is covering the DSM-5 which is super interesting to me, of course. I’ve diagnosed everyone I know, just about. (Kidding, of course. I started with myself and my family. YOU’RE NEXT.)
On top of all of that, just as I’d had enough of the verbal abuse and ick factor from online dating and was planning to shut down my accounts… I met someone good. Like, really good. Kind, attentive, sweet, funny, smart, honest, handsome… and I find myself wondering if I even know how to handle that, after so many years of there being some kind of drama or unfortunate business going on with my dating choices (to put it mildly). It’s been a while. But whatever adjustments are necessary on my part to figure out how to let someone in and keep the walls from going up and staying there, I’m all about it. And the best part is that we can (and do) talk about all that stuff. He’s as able and willing to dig deep as I am, with as tender and big a heart as mine, if not bigger. So, we’ll see where all that goes. My thanks to all the previous self-selectors, as well as the ones who behaved in such a way as to put me on high alert and avoid any future BS.
“There are two kinds of people in this world; those who build you up, and those who tear you down. In the end, you’ll thank them both.” Yep.
Anyway. So between work, school, the new fella, and then, you know, regular life and stuff, I am BUSY, my time is filled, and I am apparently terrible at reaching out to people now that I’m no longer on Facebook. But have I mentioned how much more peaceful my life is without it? Because it is. I will say, though, that I’m glad for the people who remember me and extend invitations that are otherwise taking place on FB. That aside, I’m still just waiting for all the pieces to readjust back into their new places with all that’s going on. Life was already full before C came along, so I’m doing my best to make room for him without losing myself in the process. I was in the habit of going to the gym after work, but that stopped a few weeks back and I want to squeeze that back in. That has more to do with being wiped out after work, though, and not as much to do with my personal life. And then of course there’s friend time and family time and house-sitting gigs and the desire to skip town for a few days before long…
Anyway. Life is good, and I am happy. Even when I’m a big ol’ ball of stress. That’s what the pedicures and massages and appointments with Noelle the wonder therapist are for. And the gym. And this glass of wine. Also, cookies. But maybe not so many cookies anymore, because it’s time to get back on that healthy train, too.
Monday. I’ll hop the train on Monday.
And will try to write more here, too. It feels good, even if I’m the only one reading it. 🙂